Sunday, October 28, 2001

This has been such a long weekend- not only was it 49 hours instead of 48, but I was awake for a much larger percentage of those hours than normal. And it was all so much fun! Everything about the past few days has been almost ideal. Everything that happened isn't exactly as I would have hoped for (simply because my plans are always so much more elaborate and impossible than real life), but looking back, it's the kind of weekend that can definitely be described as great come Monday. It was especially nice after a stressful fews week that seemed like they were straight out of the Junior Year from hell. In other words, exactly what guides to high schools say it's like. It was the first time in my life I've had more homework than I felt I could handle, and added onto emotional issues that I was having, it was not fun. But this weekend was both healing and enjoyable, and in a warped sort of way, I think I've actually caught up on the sleep that I've been slowly eliminating from my week nights.

Friday was good, because I had time with all my friends, and I mean all. A short stop at Melike's party for the oldies but goodies (though not enough time with Robert :-(), and then a sleepover with the best of the running girls. We had a lot of fun, even though by about 11 I was ready to fall asleep with my head in the puffy paint. We made ribbons and t-shirts (both of which will be modeled on Thursday) and then created a group shirt, which was the best because we just did what we wanted without being afraid to make mistakes. Doesn't sound too unusual, but for four cross country runners who all fit into the classic runner/overachiever stereotype, it was exciting. We decided to give the shirt to Caroline, because she's a senior, and so she can wear it in her dorm at whatever high-end, brand name college she goes to and tell the story of the three little piggies.

Saturday morning was actually not too great, but it seems so long ago now that I don't even care about it. Running at Peninsula. That about sums it up.

Saturday afternoon/evening was basically spent counting down the hours to Rocky Horror. I spent some great time with Robert, and had a good time shopping with both him and Sophie. I got a cheerleader sweater that transported me to the midwest in the 70s, and I was unusually giddy for a bit in classic cheerleader mode. Then we relaxed and, finally, it was time to get dressed. It was, to put it mildly, very very deeply disturbing to see my boyfriend wearing women's clothing. 'Nuff said. Maybe I can scan in the picture when we get them back to let everyone know what they missed.

Rocky was very... sensual, in the most innocent sort of way. More stimulating, I suppose- there was just so much going on that it was hard to concentrate on one thing. It was a great experience, though. I'm so glad that I went. One of my favorite parts was just waiting outside, being harassed by the trannies and being written on in inappropriate places with inappropriate phrases. I can't wait to go again!

Thanks, partially, to the time change, I got a lot of sleep, and spent the rest of today doing fun things like cleaning my room, doing homework and working on my math project. But left feeling very content and fulfilled and ready for the week ahead! *big grin*

Sunday, October 21, 2001

Every time I've thought about updating for the past few weeks, I've just been too lazy or tired or my eyes glazed over staring at the computer screen were the only parts of me that were responsive to any rational thought. Things haven't really changed, but I have a long afternoon ahead of me full of nothing at all (though hopefully that will change) and so I thought this would be a good way to start it off.

Driving at night with loud music is the funnest thing in the world (so is using words like "funnest" and "fantabulous". Maybe it's the dorky rebel in me, but using words that aren't part of the english language is cool). My dad got in the car this morning after I had driven home very fast and loud and was quite surprised by the volume. But he has sensitive ears, which I hopefully won't grow into as I grow older. I don't want to be the target of "If it's too loud, you're too old," but I think it's a fate we all reach. I like Weezer's version: "If it's too loud, turn it down." It makes so much more sense.

I ran yesterday at Mt. SAC. It's supposed to be one of the best (ie hardest) courses in Southern California. And it was actually a really good race. Because I ran so early (7:34 am!!!) by the time my brain was actually working, it was all over, and it felt like I had just come to hang out, which is all I ever want to do at x-country meets anyways. But I'm really glad I did it- I feel like I'm in good shape all of a sudden, which is good except for the fact the season ends in a few weeks! I MUST keep running, even through soccer season. For real this time. I will do my best to actually have the dedication that I always dream about having.

Things are good. Friends, everything. I went shopping with Laura and Eva the other day, which was very nice and different, yet totally and completely the same. If you understand that. It's been so long since we've done something like that, but we just fell into the same groove. I guess that's what old friends (relatively old, I mean) are for. Something funny- we saw Danny Osowsky at Sephora, because he's going out with Abby now. That was funny, but it was also kind of sad because he would barely talk to me. He actually hasn't talked to me for a long time now. He's just being weird. Maybe I can corner him in orchestra and get him to say more than "hi."

Whoever reads this- tell other people I have a blog. Surreptiously, though (correct word, right?). I just want people to read it. And maybe they do already, but I doubt it. So... let it be known. Buh bye now.

Sunday, October 07, 2001

I love my friends and family! Right when I was feeling the most down I've felt in a while, I go bowling and find EVERYONE there for a surprise party!!! I was so shocked and surprised, but also overwhelmingly happy. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! I had a lot of fun seeing everyone and hanging out and I got lots of great presents. Sixteen, I've decided, is the year of surprise parties and great presents. For some reason they both seem like more grown up things to me (I have a feeling this'll be a passing idea, but I'll put it down for now) and we're all becoming *gasp* kind of mature. Or maybe not. Time will tell...

I had my last driving lesson this morning- my instructor was a chubby Peruvian who called me "senorita" (don't know how to do an n+~... I don't even want to risk spelling it) and assured me I would pass, no problem. Now that I've realized where the mysterious merging part is, I'm pretty confident. My plan is to leave school early and drive around for a while so I'm just doing something I've been doing for a while, not anything new and nervewracking.

Aaah, so nice- my only birthday decision left is where to go out to eat with my family. Surprise parties are the best!

Friday, October 05, 2001

Mmmm.... I feel like a little kid right now. I'm wearing my dad's big comfy sweater and eating squaw bread and vanilla yogurt, stuff I haven't touched since I was seven years old. Comfort foods and clothes... how well conditioned we all are!
Not in a very good mood right now- I just feel like a lot of things aren't right. Something in the air - everyone I know has been really irritable lately and it's rubbed off on me, I think. And the people around me aren't who they used to be, or who I want them to be. Not good. So now I'm sitting here listening to music, all slow and kind of sad- actually, more contemplative than sad. Right now, Belle & Sebastian, a new band I heard about from a girl's site who melike had a link to.... so, I guess it's all because of Melike! But they're really great and have good songs, and I've also enjoyed reading this girl's blog. I wonder if people every think about stuff like that, anonymous people reading about their lives? And she and her friends live around here too- I could have passed her on the street! Strange, very strange.

Another really good song that I just downloaded and is really good for my mood right now is Superman by Five For Fighting. Thanks to Justin for that one. I have to tell him how much I like it on Monday. Blech... no more writing. I'm just not in the mood- I couldn't even write in my journal.

Wednesday, October 03, 2001

Went to the College Fair tonight - it was so hot and crowded that it didn't really seem conducive to learning about colleges. After all, it's hard to get a feel for a college when you're in a crowded room at your high school and you can barely tell what's going on. Luckily, I didn't really have to deal with that because my mom got there before me and went through the whole room, grabbing brochures. It was nice- sometimes it's annoying when parents do that kind of stuff, but in this case, it made it a lot easier for me. I don't really have any more of any idea of where I want to go, though, just more random names to add on to my list of possibilites. Some places I just can't see myself, and I hope I'm not being too closeminded about them. My mom suggested that I drive up to the Bay Area to check out Stanford, Berkeley and Santa Cruz with a few friends. It sounds like so much fun! Especially if it was all girls, we could probably stay with my mom's friend who I haven't seen in years. She's one of the nicest people I know! That would be a good experience itself. Hey, maybe my sister and I could drive up and visit them! That would be so cool! And she would love it- she's been talking about taking a road trip for a long time... well, months, which is a long time for her to hold on to one idea.

That thought puts a smile on my face- that's been happening all day, I've just been in an okay mood and suddenly I think of something that makes me so happy. Like I discovered that a song I had downloaded under the wrong name a while ago, and really liked, was by this new band I like. It was so exciting to finally find out. Another thing I remembered today was that my smc chem teacher always said "Focus hint hint focus" when she told us something that was going to be on a test. I've been trying to remember that ever since school started, and it just popped into my head today.