Thursday, August 15, 2002


Monday, August 12, 2002

I put the Keep Fishin' publicity shot on my desktop. It kicks ass. You would get a screenshot, but I don't feel like it.

I also bought two tickets to Bright Eyes. I don't know who is going to go with me- I don't know if anyone who reads this even knows who they/he are. But it's the day after my birthday, and by then I'm sure I'll figure it out.

I am going to spend the rest of my day studying and doing college apps. I will not go online. I will not go online.

We'll see how that turns out.

Sunday, August 11, 2002

Life has been very music-oriented for me recently. Weezer was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had- the music was so wonderful I can't even describe it, and I met a whole bunch of cool people and had a crazy night. I met Rivers (I met Rivers!!) and Scott, and told them how much I loved their music. I found new bands I like and have since discovered more, and am very exciting about other various concerts that are coming up.

I have my history final on Wednesday, and I can't remember anything. I also have not yet watched Glory. Thank god it's a night class. Signing off now- I've found myself having less to say recently.

Friday, August 09, 2002

I'M GOING TO WEEZER!! *goes wild*

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

My history project is due in four hours. I'm 3/5 of the way done and getting lazy. This would be much easier without cable, because I wouldn't interrupt myself to check blogs or look up bands every few sentences I write. Still, it's coming, even though I don't care about it and all of my responses are convoluted heaps of words that add up to about nothing.

Last night I saw Love and Death. Woody Allen. Very, very funny- much funnier than I expected it to be. I wish I had read more Russian literature so I got more of the references (I hate the feeling when you're watching a movie and you know they're making an allusion, but you don't know to what), but it still made me laugh a lot harder than a movie has in a while. I should go back and watch Manhattan, because it's the only Woody Allen film I've seen that I haven't liked, and I have a feeling that is because I watched it when I was too young to appreciate it. Or maybe it was just a bad movie. We'll find out. First I have to watch Glory for my history class, though. Then I'll go see Full Frontal. And then something off of The List. But maybe Manhattan will slip in there somewhere.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

So far today I've: finished my book, listened to more good music, gotten annoyed at certain people who have LJs and I don't (must do something about that!), and spent waaay too much time on the weezer mbs. I am now going to do my history homework. Yes, right now. I know you need to know. Goodbye.

Monday, August 05, 2002

I've been staying up until the paper is delivered in the morning and not needing to talk. We just listened to the music and let it speak for us. One night where creative energy crackled throughout the room, another where we drifted in and out of sleep and it was enough. Enough to be together and know that these people were like me and with me and there for me. No matter how many exist with whom I can only talk about school, there are a few that will always be there for me and I hope I can do the same for them.

I've been listening to a lot of Simon & Garfunkel and the White Stripes. Incongruent, perhaps, but the correct prescription for right now. I'm reading The Fountainhead and it's made things around me a little blurry. I'm not finding any answers but at the moment it doesn't matter too much.

Saturday, August 03, 2002

This morning made me feel good. I talked to my coach and figured out what this season is going to look like. I think my problem is that I started running when I didn't think. Looking back at my freshman year, I seem so shallow- not in a blond, superficial way, but just in that I didn't reflect incessantly on every aspect of my life as I do now. So when I was a little freshman, I ran without even thinking about it. I loved (and still do) the feeling of flying in at the end of a race, pushing myself so hard over that last 150 meters that I barely felt my feet touch the ground. But somewhere between the next summer where I didn't run, and growing, and being ridiculously pensive, I lost that. Now I get nervous and have trouble breathing when I think about block after block going by, and feet pounding the grass over and over and over. In that moment, I know I can't do it.

But I talked to Cady today, and things are a little more okay than they were before. He gave me his full permission not to compete if I don't want to, and I felt immediately better. I wasn't going to run at all and I ran to 14th, turning around only because my calf muscles were burning. I still have a lot to work out on my own, but I appreciate his support more than he can know. Because deep down, buried under pressure to win and pressure to not quit and a conviction that I can't let people down, I still love it. When I've got that rhythm and I'm not really thinking about what my body is doing, just running, it feels great.

Friday, August 02, 2002

Last night we watched "sex, lies and videotape." Though my mom blanched when she heard what we had rented, I think she grossly misremembered the sex scenes. It wasn't nearly as bad as she made it out to be before I stopped her with an accusation that she was ruining the movie.

It was a truly great movie- it was so cool to follow the twists and turns and try to understand the four psyches being represented on the screen. And it was one of the most sensual movies I've ever seen. I think implications are better than blatant sex scenes. I'm also amazed that it was Soderbergh's first movie. No wonder he's so succesful. I'm tempted to see "Full Frontal" now. One of the few movies out right now I'm actually interested in seeing.

In other news, my computer might definitely hate me. Probably because I've loaded up the hard drive with mp3s, but there were at least three different situations in the past 24 hours that made me want to throttle it. The only casualties so far have been 2 CDs and an email to sophie. Let the death count stay low.

Thursday, August 01, 2002

How annoying. I was so excited about a mix I was making, and now my unmentionable CD burner has ruined two CDs in the process of making it and I decided to give up. I've had the idea for a while to make a summer mix, but then I was browsing random LJs and someone mentioned how Cameron Crowe made a mixed tape every few weeks for the songs that got him through that time. I decided to adapt the idea and do a monthly one. Here's the list for anyone that's interested... maybe you (and I!) will get to hear it eventuallly.

1. Janis Joplin - Summertime
2. Wilco - Heavy Metal Drummer
3. Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness
4. Violent Femmes - Blister in the Sun
5. Saves the Day - At Your Funeral (the anthem song!!)
6. Jimi Hendrix - All Along the Watchtower
7. Weezer - Across the Sea
8. Rent - What You Own
9. White Stripes - We're Going to be Friends
10. Rolling Stones - Ruby Tuesday
11. Pavement - Shady Lanes
12. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Leaving on a Jet Plane
13. Les Miserables - On My Own
14. Hefner - Love Will Destroy Us in the End
15. Eels - P.S. You Rock My World
16. Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
17. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
18. Beatles - Across the Universe
19. Eagles - Hotel California (the kickass live version)

I also painted my toenails and decided to ditch my cross country practice.